


Crushed

by phantomchajo



Series: The Misadventures Universe [1]
Category: SilverHawks
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-03
Updated: 2013-12-03
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomchajo/pseuds/phantomchajo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is more than never having to say you're sorry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crushed

**Author's Note:**

> I was graciously allowed to post this Fic on my accont and Page by the Author who is a good friend and Co-Author of many of the Misadventures Universe Fics.

Crushed  
By  
LadyMoonHawke

Aurora looked up at the searing blue sky overhead. The white com-trails arched overhead from horizon to horizon, the jets roared past every few minutes, leaving more streaks with each pass.

The parade ground shimmered in the August heat, and though she itched to move, she resisted the urge, trying not to so much as wince as other cadets were chewed out for even the smallest of infraction. The drill sergeant had already looked her over and pronounced her barely acceptable. She still wasn't sure if the nametag pinned proudly to her uniform blouse, reading 'Stargazer, A' was going to be a hindrance or a help.

The drill sergeant reached the end of the line and returned to a point centered in front of the cadet platoon. "Listen up, cadets. As I call your names, you will step forward, and I will present you to your Senior Cadet Advisor. Your SCA will take you on a tour of the facility, including the freshman class barracks buildings, and the mess and rec halls. You will set up a schedule to meet with your SCA once a week to review progress. Your SCA should be your first stop when you have any questions or concerns. If they cannot provide an answer or guidance, they will point you to the person who can. You are all exceptional individuals to have been accepted to this facility, so I know none of you are stupid. However, to be sure everyone is clear, there is to be NO fraternization between Freshman and Senior cadets on base. Any cadets caught in a compromising position while on Academy property will be summarily dismissed with a dishonorable discharge. Is that understood?"

The parade ground echoed with their answer in one voice. "Yes, Drill Sergeant!"

The sun continued to burn down onto Aurora's head, making her glad that she'd been generous with the sunscreen that morning. It was becoming clear, and names were called, that she was not going to be among the first groups of cadets to go on the tour. Slowly, all the other cadets in her platoon were assigned to Seniors, and she was left standing on the concrete slab, back still ramrod straight.

"Cadet Stargazer," the sergeant called at last.

"Here, Drill sergeant," she snapped back.

"With me, Cadet. You're in a different situation." He turned to march away and she hustled to catch up, march a step and a half behind him.

"Step up, Cadet. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder at you."

A few long strides brought her even with him. "Thank you, Drill sergeant."

He grunted non-committally, "I know your father. He's a good man. I hope you do him proud."

"I hope so, too, Drill sergeant."

The sergeant opened an office door. "In here, Cadet. Someone will come for you in a few minutes."

"Yes, Drill sergeant."

He left her alone, in what was clearly someone's office. A clean desk and some chairs furnished the room, but what interested her most were the framed certificates that banded a three-foot high section of three of the walls. The fourth was untouched as yet, but a low trophy case sat in front of it, displaying a dizzying array of cups, statues and medals. She studied them intently, reading the various inscriptions.  
'Freshman Cadet J. Quick, Winter Semester Honor Roll'  
'Freshman Cadet J. Quick, Pro-Marksman, Rifle'  
'Sophomore Cadet J. Quick, Sharpshooter, Rifle'  
'Junior Cadet J. Quick, Expert, Rifle'

They went on and on, filling three of the four shelves, awards for academic excellent, military skills, physical endurance, various school records he'd broken. There was even an award for accumulating the most awards by one student. In her heart, she knew better than to covet, but these awards, some of them at least, could be hers.

No where in the room was there a picture. No formal family portraits, no school photos, no snapshots. Nothing to indicate that Cadet J. Quick had any living relative or past, as though he had sprung forth fully formed at the Academy gate.

It was inconceivable to Aurora, as she looked around the room, searching for some clue to this enigma named J. Quick. She had agonized over which of her own cavalcade of photos to bring, knowing her personal space would be limited. She had finally settled on her parent's wedding portrait, her graduation photo, with her gleaming gold Honor Roll cords waving in the breeze, and a few treasured snapshots of home and her family. To live and work in this sterile environment with no connection to the past would have killed her.

There were voices outside the door, and she jumped between the two visitors' chairs, standing at attention, back ramrod straight. The knob rattled a moment, and then the door opened, and Aurora's hand snapped up in salute.

"Freshman Cadet Stargazer reporting as ordered, sir!"

The higher-ranked of the two, a Captain, with four gold stripes and a single star on his sleeve, returned her salute. "At ease, Cadet."

She shifted her feet and moved her hands behind her back. It wasn't as comfortable yet as she would have liked, but she was determined to get used to it.

"Do you know why you're here, Freshman Cadet?" the Commander asked, stepping further into the room and allowing the other man to enter.

"Sir, do you mean at the Academy, or in this room, sir?"

"See?" the Captain said, turning to look for a moment at the other man, a Senior Cadet, she could see, perhaps the office's occupant. "Analytical. Won't answer unless she's sure she knows the question. Or will give answers enough to cover every possibility." He turned back to face Aurora. "Why are you at the Academy, Cadet Stargazer."

"Sir, I was accepted, sir."

"And why are you in this room?"

"Sir, I was instructed to wait here by the Drill sergeant, sir."

He looked at the Senior Cadet again. "And no excess information. Remind you of anyone?"

"No one in particular, sir," he replied.

Aurora wanted to melt into a puddle right there. She could feel the Senior Cadet studying her, clearly doing as the Captain wished and trying to place her in his memory. She let her eyes slip enough to the side to study him as well. He was tall and well-built, with cool blue eyes and short-cut brown hair. She glanced at the nametag on his chest and fought hard to repress a smile. So this was the Outstanding Cadet for six semesters running, J. Quick. He would have to be outstanding indeed if he wanted to keep all those amazing records.

"She reminds me of you, Quick."

She felt his eyes cover her from head to foot. Oh, please, let him like what he sees.

"I fail to see the resemblance, sir."

"That's because you haven't seen her file yet. Her entrance marks are almost as good as yours. Better, in a couple of places." He turned back to Aurora. "I'm Captain Norton, Academy First Officer."

She took his extended hand. "It's my honor, sir."

He nodded. "Have a seat, Cadet." She did as he directed, and he turned to Quick. "It's your office, Cadet. Go ahead and take your chair."

Aurora watched as he moved around to the far side of the desk and sat. He seemed to feel almost as uncomfortable as she did, sitting in the presence of a senior officer.

"You didn't sign up at the end of last year to take a turn as an SCA, Quick. Why?" Norton asked.

"It's a very large responsibility, sir," he replied. "I wasn't sure I could do the cadets I was assigned justice."

"Most Seniors take two or three in addition to their Senior Year duties. Are you saying they are more qualified or able to manage better than you?"

"No, sir."

Norton smiled. "Good. Meet your Freshman Cadet Advisee, Aurora Stargazer. Cadet Stargazer, your SCA, Senior Cadet Squad Leader Jonathan Quick."

Aurora bit back a cheer. "Captain, if the Senior Cadet feels I would interfere with his work, I would understand. I'm sure I could still catch up with another group on the tour-"

"No, Cadet, that won't be necessary," Norton said. "You two may as well get to know each other. There's a long hard year ahead for the both of you. I'm sure the sergeant gave you the full lecture, Cadet Stargazer. You remember the highlight of the SCA lecture, Cadet Quick?"

"Yes, sir. No fraternization. I remember."

"Not on base, at least. What adults do own their own time and off our property we can't control. Carry on, then." He turned to leave, waving them off before they could jump up to salute.

Aurora looked across the desk at Jon. "So what first, Senior Cadet Squad Leader Quick?"

"First, you don't call me that. Cadet Quick is fine."

"What about 'Jon'?"

"Don't you think that's a little informal, Cadet Stargazer?"

"You're going to sound ridiculous if you keep calling me 'Cadet Stargazer' while I'm calling you 'Jon.' We're going to be seeing at least a reasonable amount of each other, yes?"

"Often enough. There are required check-ins once a week with the advisor," he answered.

"So we're going to be seeing each other at least that often. I'm going to get tired of 'Cadet Quick' real fast, and I'd bet you'll get tired of 'Cadet Stargazer' even faster."

"What about rank?"

She chuckled throatily, and the sound ran up and down his spine like fingers on a piano. "I'm sure you won't let me forget who's on top here, Senior Cadet."

Jon wasn't sure he wanted to know how she meant that remark. "How about that tour now?" he asked, escorting her to the door. Being alone in a room with this girl might be more temptation than he wanted.

The last back to her barracks, Aurora had just enough time to unload her belongings into the drawers provided before the intercom crackled to life. "First inspection begins in two minutes. All cadets will take their places in the corridors."

Aurora slid the last drawer shut. "Just in time," she said, scooting out into the hall. On the fourth floor of the walk-up dorm-style barracks, they had the longest wait before the officers arrived.

"So where did the Drill Sergeant take you? Into an empty office for quickie?"

One of Aurora's three roommates, Charlotte Tyler had made it no secret as they'd organized themselves before Orientation that she liked sex, the more, the better. She had calmly announced her intention to sleep with every male cadet, and any of the enlisted men and officers she could get. She'd made it clear that she favored quantity over quality, and would take it wherever she could get it.

"Don't be an idiot, Charl. No man with his experience is going to throw away his career to get it on with a cadet." Kristina Reeves was smart, funny and eminently practical, always seeing straight to the heart of a situation, if not always the way out of it.

Lorna Trevino snorted. "Don't be so sure of that. My brother Jackson said it happened his sophomore year." The second in her family to attend the Academy, Lorna was a font of information, both truth and rumor. "A member of the staff was caught with a cadet they said would spread her legs for anyone. They were both gone in 24 hours. A dishonorable discharge for him and a dismissal with prejudice for her." She smirked at Charlotte. "You could be next if your not smart."

"I'm careful," Charl returned, "not stupid. So where were you, Rora? You and another cadet checking out a convenient closet?"

"Do you think about anything other than sex, Charl?"

"I try not to. So give."

"The same as the rest of you. Meeting my SCA and touring the base."

"So who did you get?" Lorna asked. "We were all wondering what the deal was when the Drill Sergeant pulled you off."

"He dropped me at my SCA's office," Aurora said.

"Cadets don't have offices," Kristina pointed out.

"The Squad Leaders do," Lorna supplied.

"Holy shit!" Charl shouted. "You got the Senior Squad Leader? You better hurry if you're gonna get in his pants, 'cause I'm next."

Lorna smirked. "You've made it clear you'll get into any man's pants. Why do you care whose it is?"

There was a commotion at the far end of the hall, and they fell in against the walls. "I'll tell you later. Meet me after dinner at the Blue Falcon."

Aurora swirled the ice in her rum and Coke, brushing off yet another offer to buy her 'a real drink.' The Blue Falcon was a seedy place, built right in front of a no-tell flophouse that rented rooms by the hour as well as the night. It seemed to have something to cater to every taste, from the worn mechanical bull in one corner to the bank of pool tables across the room. There was an old wooden dance floor, chipped with age and use where couples were gyrating violently, and TV screens overhead blared in competition with the old Juke box.

"Hey, baby. A pretty thing like you shouldn't have to buy her own drinks."

Aurora sighed, preparing to give him the brush-off as well, when someone grabbed her elbow. "Forget about it."

She turned to see Kristina insert herself between Aurora and her would-be suitor. "We're over here," Kristina said with a tilt of her head.

"Thanks, Tina."

"No prob."

Aurora followed her to a corner, where the girls had packed themselves around a tiny rickety table. "This place is a dump," she said, sitting gingerly on a chair. All its legs were present, but its cant left a great deal to be desired.

"Are you kidding?" Charlotte asked. "This place is a points-factory waiting to happen."

"More like a four-alarm fire. What points?" Tina asked.

"Okay, this is how it works," Charl explained. "5 points for head, and 10 for a real screw. Bonus points for both at once, and double if you bag an SCA. Triple if you bag your own. I've got 15 point already since I got here."

"What in hell are you talking about?" Tina asked.

"She's suggesting we give ourselves points for sex," Lorna said. "What kind of acrobatic slut are you anyway, 'both at once.'"

"I mean in the same session. 50 for enlisted men, and 100 for officers. 300 for Captain Norton, and game over if you get the General."

"Now I know you're insane," Aurora said. "There is no way the General would look twice at a cadet, or Captain Norton, for that matter. And aren't you forgetting something, anyway? No fraternization, remember?"

"On base, yeah. Just don't get caught. And this isn't on-base. Why d'you think the Falcon rents rooms cheap?" Charl asked.

"It's tangled with the base somehow," Lorna said quietly. "Jax told me this place crawls with uniforms on the weekends, and not all the girls serve beer, or just beer, if you get my meaning."

Aurora looked horrified. "I'm in a bar/brothel? My mother's gonna kill me."

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Rora. No one's going to haul you off to a locked dungeon and make you their sex slave."

"No, I'm sure that's your fantasy life, Charl. Count me out. I'll keep score if you want, but I'm not going to run myself ragged chasing points that don't add up to a hill of beans." Aurora drained the last of her rum and Coke.

"Whatever. You two in?"

Tina shrugged. "If we re-set the points to zero, yeah. How are we going to get verification?"

"Get a trophy of some kind," Lorna suggested. "Lock of hair?"

"Like I have time to snip hair from every guy?" Charl complained. "No. What about honor system?"

"Do you have any honor, Charl?" Aurora asked. "No. Since I'm keeping score, I'll be referee, too. You have to be able to tell a specific detail about the person. Something that's not visible, even if they're wearing PT gear. So let's say mid-chest to mid-thigh. And not just something like he's got a hairy chest or back. I mean marks, scars, stuff like that. Something that can be easily verified by whoever gets him next. You don't share that piece of info with anyone but me, to keep it fair." There was no point in trying to dissuade Charl from this course, The best she could do was try to keep it sane. "And it's 100% safe and consensual. You can't just jump some guy; he has to be willing. And strictly 'no glove, no love.' Agreed?"

Lorna and Kristina nodded, but Charl frowned. "What about my 15 points? Don't tell me they're wasted."

Aurora shrugged. "Either share them or dump them. But you're starting from zero. That's just what you get for jumping the gun."

"You're a cold bitch, Rora," Charl laughed. "I'm glad your not playing. You might give me a run for my money."

"I don't sleep with someone for points, Charl. If I do it, it's because I want to. And where I come from, the outstanding specimens on manhood are few and far between."

"Hey, GQ, you comin' down to the Falcon tonight?"

Jon looked up from the book he was reading. "Nope. Sorry, Pat. Not tonight."

Patrick Rheinhart, his roommate, shrugged. "Your loss, man. Last night of freedom before they start busting out collective ass again."

"Drink any more of that swill they serve at the Falcon, and you're going to have a collective ass the size of Alaska, and liver like a rock."

"Aw, man. It's not that bad. Listen, I heard you were doin' the show-and-tell with a freshie today. Thought you passed on that last spring."

Jon frowned. "I did. Norton gave me one anyway."

"Dude, only one? Tough luck. They're always hot to get some action." Pat brushed at his close-cropped hair. "See ya later, bud. Don't strain yourself getting smart."

"Auugghhh!"

Charl's agonized groan woke Aurora from her sound and all too short sleep. Tina and Lorna were indignant as well.

"Oh, God, Charl. We agreed no guys in the room while someone was trying to sleep."

"Get a room, Charl, preferably somewhere else."

Aurora propped herself up on her elbows. "She doesn't have a guy in here. What's wrong, Charl?"

Despite Charlotte's frequent and varied sexual escapades and perpetually low marks, she was a valued roommate. She was perfectly willing to loan clothes on a moment's notice, kept her share of the room neat, and after the first time, didn't sneak guys back to the room. She was also a dynamo during cram sessions, quizzing the other girls relentlessly between breaks to hunt up a screw. She'd joked that the stress made her hornier than hell, and the others had started to referring any week leading up to an exam as 'rutting season.'

"I can't find any clean stockings, and I have to be at KP in ten minutes." Her politician father could keep her at the Academy despite her low grades, he couldn't shelter her from the discipline to which all cadets were subject. Charlotte was becoming a regular on the KP circuit.

Aurora dragged her clock down from the top of the desk. The rotation schedule made it her week for the bottom bunk, and she wasn't crazy about it, but could see how it was fair. The numbers glowed in the dark; 5:20. She set the clock back on the dresser and dragged open a drawer under the bunk, pulling out a pair of nylons and tossing them toward the bathroom. "Here. Borrow mine. I have a free afternoon and I'm going to do some wash while I have the chance."

Charl looked at them and sighed. "Rora, they're nylons. I need stockings. Do you know how hard it is to pull off a quickie with nylons? They'll get ruined."

"Well, it's that or be late to KP. Or you could just go without today."

"Without stockings or without sex?"

"The latter would be better for you than the former. Uniform violation will just get you more KP. At any rate, I'm going back to sleep." She flopped back down and pulled her pillow over her head.

The door closed a couple of minutes later, and there was applause from he other two bunks.

"Oh, hush," Aurora said, her voice muffled. "I still have half an hour of beauty sleep to catch."

Aurora leaned to one side, trying to see how much further she had to go before reaching a point where she could actually get some food, then down at her watch. No matter how she cut it, getting a real lunch was going to make her late for her meeting. Sighing, she stepped out of the slow-moving line and went to the far end, pouring herself a cup of coffee. It was a sorry excuse for a meal, but she had a free period at 2, and a better chance for a real meal then.

She was on her way out as Charl came in. "Hey. We gonna have review when the others get here?"

Aurora shook her head, stepping around her and trying not to spill her coffee. "Can't. I have SLR in 5 minutes. In fact, I have to go, like now. See ya."

She slid into her chair at Squad Leader Review as the Captain was gaveling the meeting to order.

"Okay. Semester 1, Week 20 Squad Leader Review will come to order. This is our last week of the semester, people, and you've done for the most part an exceptional job. Current standings put the Senior class at the front, with the Freshmen a surprise second. Juniors and Sophomores are trailing, and if the Seniors and Freshmen keep up like they are, it's going to be a two-man race next semester. And speaking of trailing, you all have lists of those students who will not be invited to remain after Christmas; these lists may change after Wednesday's last exam, so be prepared to explain the situation, but don't say anything yet. On a more prurient note, we have unconfirmed reports of strange noises and locked rooms in various halls. Remind everyone who's going to be here next term that no fraternization means none, and perpetrators will be harshly reprimanded, to the point of expulsion." He went through the rest of his notes, covering minor matters that still took the remainder of the lunch hour.

Aurora fiddled with her papers until she saw that Jon was ready to leave, then put herself at the door just in time for him to open it for her.

"Thanks," she said, stepping out and waiting for him.

"No problem." He didn't say anything when she fell into step next to him.

"Christmas is almost here," she noted. "Where are you going?"

"Theory of Command 4. Why?"

Aurora frowned for a moment, then laughed. "No. Not now. I mean for Christmas."

"Oh." They walked in silence for a moment. "Nowhere. I'm staying here."

She sucked in a breath. "That's awful. Listen, no one should be alone at the holidays. Why don't you come with me? Mom always makes too much, and we have plenty of room. My sister would just faint to have a real Senior in her house, too. And I've told them all about you."

He paused at looked at her. "I It's a nice offer, really, but no. I'd better not." He made a show of looking down at his watch. "You'd better get a move on. You don't want to be late to class and give up any more points."

The word made her freeze. "What?"

"Points? You know, those things they hand out to determine squad standings? Where's your head today?"

He didn't know about the game, then. Good. "The lists," she said quickly. "A lot of these people are my friends, and I have to think of some way to tell them they didn't make the cut."

"Leadership is never easy," he pontificated. "I'll see you later. Merry Christmas." H left her side to enter a classroom.

"Yeah, she murmured to herself, heading for her own lecture hall. "Merry Christmas."

"Rora. Rora"

It wasn't so much the hissing in her ear that woke Aurora, but the poking at her shoulder. She tried to scoot away from it, but even pressured against the wall she could feel the prodding. Sighing in annoyance, she gave up the attempt to sleep and dragged the pillow off her head.

"You'd better be dying Charl."

"Oh, RoraI'm in a huge mess. I was witha guy, and it broke, and then he" Her broken narrative descended into incomprehensible bawling.

Aurora crawled out of bed and dragged the weeping girl into the bathroom. It was a tight squeeze, but they managed, Charl sitting on the closed toilet lid and Aurora leaning against the opposite wall. "All right," she sighed. "Start again from the beginning."

Charl began again, explaining a little more clearly how she had been with a man, involved in her usual activities. It had apparently been a satisfactory enough encounter until the end, when she rather abruptly realized that the condom he was wearing had broken. She had apparently left quickly after that and returned to the dorm room, uncertain what to do.

Aurora stared at her in disbelief. "You've screwed how many guys and never had one break before?"

Charlotte raised her puffy red eyes. "Never. And I didn't even know until he Oh, God. I'm gonna get pregnant and get kicked out and my dad will kill me." Her breath hitched in her chest and she started to keen.

"Of all the idiotic things" Of all the unpleasant tasks Aurora had faced, by far the worst had been telling 40 people that they would not be returning after the holidays. Though Charl's grades had been poorer by far than some, her name had not been on that list. Now a dumb cosmic accident was threatening her with the fate she had thus far avoided. "Well, first of all, it's highly unlikely that you would get pregnant from one slip like this. But Mother Nature like to screw with people, so we're going to do something about that anyway." She reached out and snagged a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from the hook on the back of the door. They had long ago given up trying to keep all their clothes separate in the chaos of mass living, and saved their energy for keeping track of uniforms and lingerie and left everything else to a kind of common closet. "Your biggest problem is worrying about whatever bugs he might have given you. So come on."

"Where are we going?" Charl asked as Aurora opened the door.

"Duh. Sickbay. Where you should have gone in the first place."

Aurora scribbled a quick note and left it on the resident officer's door, then steered Charlotte out into the crisp night. A few stars glittered overhead, the majority washed out by the bright lights illuminating the base's air traffic area. 3 AM was generally not a time Aurora liked to visit in person, and the fact that it was either late Sunday night or early Monday morning did nothing to improve her mood. The loss of 40 students had made the pressure that much greater on the rest, and she found herself struggling at times to maintain her position as top-ranked Freshman, and second-highest Cadet overall. Losing sleep because Charlotte couldn't cope with a common hazard of her chosen passtime was especially annoying.

"So who were you doing this time?" she asked, more to break the silence than out of any genuine interest.

Charl was uncharacteristically quiet for a few moment. Usually she described in near-pornographic detail every encounter. It has certainly provided enough fuel to leave Aurora hot and panting from a number of dreams, though hers tended to feature a particular Senior Cadet rather than Charl's cast of thousands.

"I I don't know if I ought to-"

"Bit late for a stroll, isn't it, Cadets?"

They both stopped short and saluted as Captain Norton appeared from around the corner of a building.

"Sir, it is late, sir," Aurora said when he waved off their salutes. Charl just stood next to her and shivered.

"Where are you going, Cadets?"

"Sir, Sickbay, sir." She was tempted to say more, but decided to wait and hope they could simply get by.

"And why are you going there at this hour? Someone not feeling too well?" He fixed Charl with a needle-sharp gaze.

"Sir, Cadet Tyler is sick, sir." Certainly , it was true in Aurora's opinion. Anyone who spent all their energy and time sniffing around for sex had to be sick. And Charl took that opportunity to add to the perception of illness by moaning, clutching at her stomach, and vomiting. It splattered the ground and the Captain's shoes, though miraculously not hers or Aurora's.

Norton stepped back, face twisted in disgust. "Carry on," he said, heading quickly in another direction.

They hurried on, waiting til he was well out of earshot to speak again. "That's a cute trick," Aurora said at last. "Upchuck on demand."

"Dumb luck," Charl replied. "I saw him, and I just had to heave should never have taken him up on his offer."

Aurora stopped dead on the tarmac. "What offer?"

"What d'you think? He said he'd arrange for me to stay if I fucked him."

"And you did it?" Aurora nearly screeched, then glanced around and started hustling Charl toward the building where the sickbay was housed.

"Why not? Doesn't make much difference to me who's there, as long as I get when I want."

"In case I didn't say it before, Charl, you're sick. Do you know that?" Aurora yanked the sickbay door open.

"I just know what I want," Charl replied, following her in.

"And what is that? An STD and a screwed-up sense of self? You're better than this, Charl."

"You don't get it, Rora. I'm not smart like you and Tina and Lorna. I can remember all the facts and figures and details when we all sit down and talk about it, but when it's me and that piece of paper, I can't do it. I cave under the pressure, and it's going to catch up with me one day. So until then, I'd rather just enjoy myself as much as I can."

"Charl, if you don't want to be here, why don't you quit? Just resign and don't come back in the fall."

"Are you kidding? After what my father did to get me into this place? The press back home would be all over it. 'Senator Tyler's daughter resigns in defeat.' No. I have to stick it out." She flopped into a chair and Aurora sat next to her. "You know what I really want to do?"

"What?"

"I want to be an actress. Pretty funny, huh?"

"I guess."

A corpsman's head popped out from around a corner. "What are you cadets doing here at this hour?" she asked.

"My friend's condom broke, and she wasn't sure what to do."

The corpsman nodded, clearly understanding. "Well, come on back here, honey. We'll see about getting you fixed up." She looked at Aurora. "You're the Squad Leader?"

Aurora nodded. "Yes. And I left a note for the dorm officer."

"Okay. You can wait out here." She gestured for Charl, and the girl stood up.

"Thanks, Rora."

"No problem. I'll be here when you're done." She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Maybe she could catch up on some of the sleep she was missing.

She was startled from sleep by a gentle shake. "Are you all right, Cadet?"

Aurora opened her eyes to see the much-discussed but seldom spotted General before her. She moved to jump to her feet and salute, but realized that to do so would knock the crouching officer to the floor. She settled for sitting up straighter.

"Sorry, sir. I was waiting for another cadet."

He sat in a chair opposite her, waving her off as she started to rise and salute. "It's too late at night to be so formal. You're the Freshman Squad Leader, right? Cadet Stargazer?"

She smiled in spite of the hour. "Yes, sir." It pleased her that he knew, but she wasn't sure how she could say it.

"One of your cadets is ill?"

She chewed the inside of her lip. If she were to report what Charl had told her, it had to be right away. Waiting would only make the accusations look spurious, especially if Charl's grades remained as poor as they consistently were. And Charl has said she didn't want to say who it was she'd been with. "It's a personal problem, sir. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry if you're keeping a confidence, Cadet. I'm not offended."

The corpsman brought Charl back out. "Remember what I said, Cadet. At least 6 weeks, until we're sure you're fine."

Charl spotted the general and frowned prettily. "Yes, ma'am. Whatever you say." She accepted the small pill envelope. "Thank you for your help." Then she turned and smiled at the General. "Good evening, sir. How nice of you to check up on me."

His head tilted a fraction of an inch. "Sorry to disappoint you, Cadet. I saw your Squad Leader waiting and thought she could use some company. But if you're all done, then you should both get back to your dorm. Time waits for no man, and neither does reveille. Dismissed."

They saluted and headed for the door. Just before they stepped out, he said, "Cadet Stargazer. Keep up the good work."

Jon saw the familiar knot of black hair ahead of him in the hall, and tried to work his way through the crowd of students to reach her.

He caught her just outside the door to SLR. The position of Squad leader was supposed to shift through the cadet class as students in turn held the highest marks, but both Jon and Aurora had shot to the tops of their respective classes and held the positions against all challengers. Consequently, they were the only Squad Leaders who had attended all the meetings.

"I..I just wanted to ask you something. Do you have a minute?"

She glanced down at her watch. "I have just about that long, yeah, What can I do for you?"

She was looking at him, smiling slightly, eyes bright, and his courage failed him. He could lead cadets through live fire exercises and not lose his cool, but a woman, another cadet, out to dinner or a movie or whatever his confused mind could come up with just seemed impossible. "What are you doing for Spring Break?" he asked. Maybe she would be free, and he could try again to ask her out when the pressure would be eased slightly.

"I'm going to Vail," she said, crushing his hopes without realizing it. "Charl's dad has a cabin, and we're going to ski for a week and forget this place even exists."

"Oh." He tried not to let his disappointment show. "Have a good time, then." He turned and entered the conference room before she could say anything.

It was on the tip of her tongue to invite him along, but Charl had come through her broken-condom scare with green lights and returned to her favorite pastime with a vengeance. She was through most of the cadets now, and Jon was one of the few not on her list of bagged males. She'd backed off a little with the on-base encounters, but stepped up her campaign off-base. To bring Jon into that situation, where Charl would feel free to pounce anything that moved, simply wasn't in her. True, he'd shown no interest in her, aside from a distant friendship as a fellow cadet, but she hadn't given up hope. Not yet.

Aurora stuck her head in the door of Jon's office, tapping on it as she did. "Hey, Jon."

He looked up from a pile of papers, trying to conceal his irritation with being interrupted. "What's up?" he asked, a little more harshly than he might have had the paperwork not been so damned irritating.

She blinked and seemed to withdraw a bit. "Just checking in. Last time. Year ends tomorrow."

"I can't wait." Then I can dump this mess on someone else, he thought. He looked down and made another notation on the papers.

Her face fell, but he didn't notice. "Well, I guess I'll see you at graduation tomorrow."

He grunted, flipping some more pages to the side.

"Listen, some of the girls are going to the Blue Falcon tonight. I imagine there'll be quite a crowd, what with it being the last night before the semester ends."

"That place is a pit," Jon said. "Did you need anything else?"

She blinked a moment, trying not to let her disappointment show. "No. I'll see you tomorrow. So long, Senior Cadet Quick."

He didn't say anything as she shut the door and walked away.

Aurora tipped her head back, back, back, draining the shot glass, then turned it over and set it down in front of her, next to the other three.

Tina raised an eyebrow as the rickety table swayed. "Damn, Rora. That's the most I've ever seen you drink."

"I'm not done yet," she replied, cheeks flushed and eyes almost glassy-bright.

"So who won?" Charl asked, trying to distract her.

"You did, of course. I didn't bring the scorebook, but you were ahead by 1000 or so last time I looked. Of course. We could have just multiplied the 700 male cadets by ten points a piece and awarded you the crown the first week."

"I didn't get to all of them," Charl half-laughed. "Your SCA managed to avoid me all year."

"Well, you won't catch him in here. It's a pit, after all." She tipped back another shot and turned to survey the dance-floor. "And you know what? I don't care." She set the glass down next to the others and slid up from the chair, slinking over to the raised wooden floor, then slipping in amidst the other gyrating bodies.

Jon stepped through the door to the Blue Falcon, nose wrinkling at the smell of the place. It was an overwhelming stench of old beer, stale cigarette and marijuana smoke, a miasma of perfumes and colognes, and the unmistakable scent of active bodies in close proximity. He'd never crossed this threshold before, and he was beginning to wish he hadn't now. But it had occurred to him, hours after the fact, albeit, that he had taken his frustration over the end of year paperwork out on Aurora, and in the confusion and excitement of graduation and leaves starting tomorrow, he might not see her again before he was posted off-planet. So this could well be the last chance to say anything to her; to ask her if he had been imagining the looks, the words that could be taken many ways, the absolute determination to best his records. To ask if she'd been trying to get his attention the last 40 weeks, and if so, what did she intend to do with it, now that she had it.

Her roommates were gathered around a tiny table in a corner, and he could see a number of shot glasses turned upside-down in front of a fourth chair, currently unoccupied. But of Aurora, there was currently no sign.

He made his way to the bar and ordered a beer, keeping the table in sight. He saw Charlotte Tyler, 'Charlotte the Harlot,' raise her glass in his direction, and he nodded in return but didn't move from his position. It provided a much better view of the bar than the table, and what he intended to discuss didn't need an audience.

It was quite a bit of time before he saw her emerging from the crowd on the dance floor, and he only recognized her from her hair. The cropped tank top and low-riding tight black jeans were 180-degrees from her normal uniform, and he found himself hoping he hadn't misread the signals he'd finally out together. It could be a long and painful night otherwise.

Then a bull-necked man followed her off the floor, and he realized with a start that Aurora was encouraging the punk to follow her. He could almost hear her tell him to wait for a moment, then watched with frozen eyes as she rejoined her friends.

"Hey, Charl, cross my palm with gold, baby." She laughed and held out a hand.

Charl leaned back in her chair to study Aurora's new friend, then dug into her purse and piled a number of wrapped condoms into her palm. "Honey, you look to be in for a good time. Enjoy."

Aurora snagged her purse fro the chair and threw some bills onto the table to cover her share of the tab. "Hoo, yeah. I quit. He wins. The Senior Cadet Squad Leader can kiss my boots." She stumbled a little over her own feet. "I am sooo drunk," she confessed. "Hope I can still do it."

"You sure about this? You're not one to give up," Charl said.

"I'm done. Have at him, assuming you can find him. Try his officesome of those medals probably need spit-shining or something." She turned and swayed back over to her new pal. "Hey, baby. Let's get some air."

He wrapped an arm around her waist and led her toward the back door; the one closest to the motel office.

Jon wasn't sure how long he stood at the bar, staring at the spot where Aurora had vanished with some anonymous man, clearly intent on going with him to the cheap motel behind the bar and spending the night, or at least the greater portion of it, there.

He must have been wrong, he thought as he downed the rest of his second beer. He had read things into her words, her actions, and nearly made a fool of himself in sharing that with her. He was grateful in a way for the lunk who had walked her out the back door. The horney bastard would never know how his decision to screw a black-haired vixen had saved Jon from what he was sure would have been a humiliating moment; the moment when Aurora laughed in his face and walked away.

He felt a touch on his arm, and turned to see Charlotte Tyler standing next to him.

"Looking for someone, Senior Cadet?" she asked.

He looked back toward, the door, but Aurora had not reappeared in tears or fury. "No. Not anymore." Then he looked back to Charl. "Are you busy?"

She smiled and edged closer to him, pressing one breast against his arm. "I'm getting' there. Come on. I'll show you."

She dragged him, not entirely unwilling, out the back door. He didn't see Aurora anywhere, and was glad. He couldn't stand for him to see her right then. He wasn't sure he could stand to see himself.

Aurora sat in the stands with the rest of her just-promoted class, head still pounding despite the pain pills she had swallowed that morning, and incredibly grateful that dark glasses were permitted with uniforms when they were spending time outdoors.

She had woken sometime before dawn, the behemoth of a 'date' next to her, snoring, the last of the condoms they had used still dangling from his limp flesh. The peculiar sight, the alcohol she had consumed and the light still blazing overhead combined to set her stomach off, and she had run for the tiny bathroom, arriving at the toilet just in time. Relieved of a rolling stomach, mouth rinsed out and the thoughtfully provided aspirin taken, she had snagged her clothing and purse and lit out for the base. She'd made it back to her room in time to shower and catch a couple of hours of real sleep.

Jon was wrapping up his valedictory speech, predictably about facing the hardships of the future with duty and honor. She could see the dark circles under his eyes, and wondered idly what he had done the night before his shining moment to make him look so tired. She cursed her own hyper-accurate memory. It seemed even the amount of alcohol she'd rashly consumed the night before did nothing to fog the events that had occurred. And her feelings were unaltered as well. Sleeping with a total stranger hadn't killed her crush on Jon. Watching him now, she still longed for his notice.

Charl Tyler nudged her from her reverie as she crowds stood to applaud him and she joined them, going through the motion though she couldn't remember more and a few half-phrases of the speech. He'd spoken about moving through life with eye open, about seeing past the surface, about reaching for your goals in spite of distractions. That was all she'd been to him; a distraction, a bump on the road to his goals. And she loved him in spite of it.

Charl leaned into her a little. "Still got it bad, huh?"

They sat with the rest of the crowd, and she sighed. "Yeah. Guess you can't drink or screw someone out of your system. I kept hoping he'd wake up one day and see me, really see me." She looked over at Charl. "You must think I'm a real idiot. I wasted a year chasing him, and the real shame of it is I'd do it again."

It was on the tip of Charl's tongue to tell her about the night before, that their frantic encounter had left her cold and unsatisfied. He'd been gone before she was fully stripped, their quick fumble taking place around layers of wrinkled clothes. But it was the $50 he'd left on the dresser that humiliated her the most, and the thing that made her most determined to keep the whole embarrassing thing to myself. "You'd still end up hating yourself, I expect."

"Huh. So what did you do last night?"

"Oh, the usual. Wanna hear about it?"

Aurora groaned. "Please, no. I have more than enough erotic imagery to last a couple of decades."

Charl shrugged. "Your loss." It had been a risk, but a calculated one, and math was one place where Charl was sure of what she was doing. "They're going to announce the Cadet of the Year."

"Jon's going to win," Aurora said. "He's been keeping track of his points from Day 1."

"-And the unique experience of awarding not one but two Cadets of the Year," the General was saying, voice amplified over the loudspeaker. "Senior Cadet, make that Ensign, Jonathan Quick." There was a rush of applause and Jon stood and accepted his plaque, shaking the General's hand. "And Freshman, sorry, Sophomore Cadet Aurora Stargazer."

Aurora's heart pounded as the former freshman class shrieked in joy around her. "Get up," Tina whispered, nudging her from one side. "Go up there."

She rose on numb legs , hearing the loudspeaker only faintly. "Come on up here, Cadet. You earned it."

She was mounting the steps to the temporary platform and accepting her own plaque before she knew what was happening. The General's intense blue eyes were smiling as she shook his hand. "Congratulations, Cadet. I knew you'd do well." He ushered her across the stage to stand next to Jon.

"Hi," she said quietly as they stood to one side.

"Hey," he replied. A moment later, he whispered, "Congratulation."

"Thanks. You, too."

It was all over, hats thrown, speeches made, and all the awards handed out, including more for both Jon and Aurora. She hadn't garnered quite as many as he did, but it was still an impressive collection. She was chatting with a few friends, exchanging numbers for the summer when she saw him standing off to one side, looking at her. She quickly excused herself and made her way over.

"So that's a lot of hardware to be hauling with you. Gonna dump it at home first?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm heading right out tonight. IPF-8."

"The posting you wanted so much. I hope it works out for you."

"Yeah." He shifted uneasily. "Listen, did Charl tell you about last night?"

"Oh, God, no. I'm so sick to death of her 'insert tab A into slot B' stories. How many different versions of 'I screwed him and left him panting,' can there be, anyway?"

He smiled a little. "Not that many, I guess. I I stopped by the Blue Falcon. 't there."

"I left early. I would have stayed, if I'd known you were coming."

"Oh." It changed everything, but changed it too late. "Well, I just wanted to say, you know, that you weren't so bad for an advisee. You never seemed to need my advice at all."

She smiled a little. "I would have taken it anyway." A voice called her, and she turned around and waved, then turned back to him. "My family's here. I have to go."

"Yeah. I guess I won't be seeing you again."

"Well, you can always check back in 3 years, see how many of your records I broke."

The corner of his mouth twitched up. "I may just do that."

"Okay. Bye, Jon." She took a couple of steps back, then turn and walked over to join a man and woman standing together and another girl, younger than her. They started walking away together, and she was gone.

"Bye, Aurora. See you around."

*THE END*


End file.
